How can we grow where we are planted? Before getting into this too deeply, I would like to say the janitor deserves as much respect as the CEO. The point is that everyone deserves respect. What I’m stressing here is that we have God-given potential. This is truly a gift, and we have to realize not everyone has the same gifts. And yet, they, too, are children of God.
I was blessed with a highly abstract mind and had to work hard on my interpersonal skills. While in my youth, I was highly judgmental and alienated most of my family. Thankfully, today I’ve been reconciled with most of them. Because of some school accreditation issues, I was forced to take way more liberal arts courses for my bachelor’s degree than I wanted to. As it turns out, I needed this to round out my personality.
Growing where you are planted is an attitude of being mindful. Does your employer offer free computer-based training? Can you read manuals on the equipment you service or sell? Do you strive to learn the names of your co-workers and customers? I try the name association technique but still come up short when it comes to names.
Perhaps the biggest problem I had, and still work on, is listening. Most people have not had a good “listening to” in a long time. Furthermore, humans are pretty smart and full of common sense. I have had experiences where I went to a job site to fix something, and a tradesperson told me what the problem is. However, their supervisor refuses to hear their issue, description, suggestions, or solutions.
Although that may sound incredibly insensitive, it isn’t. Listening is a skill, and many people lack it. They’re not stupid or insensitive, they simply haven’t developed that skill yet. We can help everyone in this situation by setting the example and not seeking to humiliate them by shooting them down, but simply taking the time to listen.
One thing I discovered is that our emotions will deceive us. Your mouth may be saying, “Oh, it is so nice to see you”. And yet, if deep down you despise someone, your body language will telegraph your disdain to those that repulse you.
Is the solution then to train your body language so you may be even more deceitful? We know the answer to that question, but we don’t want to admit it. Having a good attitude involves some serious work inside. You may not know where to start. The first thing to examine is any mental health issues. That includes dependence on chemical crutches and/or behavioral modification. Focusing on the important emotional needs of others means you must be in good mental shape yourself.
There are free 12-step groups for just about anything you need to work on. Often times the 12th step is to give back to the community. Maybe running a meeting may give you usable insight. Simply helping others is a great way to help yourself and to reflect while contributing to society. It’s a win-win.
You may also work on your spiritual health, no matter what tradition or faith you follow. Most faiths and traditions focus on stories or scriptures with accounts of people who’ve overcome huge, perhaps insurmountable, obstacles. There are ministers who will teach lessons in a modern context. You’ll also get to know and learn from others who are working on their spirituality.
Doing all that inner maintenance is hard work. However, I’ve found that life blooms for you, and others around you, when you take the time to examine and heal yourself.
TheLateFrugal
